I can remember vividly after serving my father’s land, after much well wishes and congratulations… Talks like “what next”, “when are you getting married now”, “when are we coming to eat rice”, asoebi things became the order of the day. I am not debunking the fact that marriage is enjoyable but who says it should be a do or die thing. I want us to erase the notion that marriage is an achievement, it’s a choice. Stop acting as if your life depends on it. Little wonder people are getting into the wrong marriage and they are bearing the brunt of it. Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a good thing and it’s pleasurable. I just don’t understand the pressure on ladies to get married. let’s stop it. At the right time, they’ll tie the knot. There are other achievements aside from getting married. You’ve got purpose to fulfill, dreams to achieve. Your life doesn’t end at getting married and procreating only. Your life’s worth more than that. I’m not disputing the fact that married women are accorded respect in the society. Please..
Everyone is worthy of respect, be it single, married or divorced. The society looks down on the single as irresponsible… that’s hogwash. It’s better to be single and happy than married and unhappy. Societal beliefs, age and pressure are the agents that compel people into marrying wrongly. Don’t let that get to you. People will always talk. You’re the one that will sieve the words to hold on to and the ones to let go. Don’t listen to what people are saying. What is God saying? that’s what matters. Marriage isn’t for everyone, my dear. Stop forcing it. It’s not gonna work. The Holy book never said marriage was a prerequisite. We were given the free will to either get married or stay single. Stop heeding to society’s hogwash.
I reiterate ” I’m not against wedlock. I’m going to get married. I’m not just of the opinion that females should be forced into it. At the right time, it’ll take place. Our destiny, purpose and time differ likewise marriage. Don’t jump into it cause you’re getting old or your mates are all married. Marriage is a lifetime thing so my dear, think about this before going into it.
“Is that whom you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
“Are you marrying out of pressure or for pleasure?”
“Are you going to think back and say yes, i made the right choice or regret your actions?”
Reflect on these…
Chimamanda Adichie quipped ” Never speak of marriage as an achievement.
Marriage can be happy or unhappy but it is not an achievement.
Simi is a multifaceted Writer and Poet. She is a Contributor on Core Magazine.
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