Poetry: Past failures haunt me with guilt, I’m too scared to think

 

I BELIEVE IN MAGIC

 

The world was said to end today; 23rd September, 2017.
With the people of the world, I shared a common fear.
The fear of death.
They were right.
Only it was not gonna be the end of everyone’s world. But mine. Just mine.
And this was the end.
A silhouette of my original self.
Today, I ended. I died. My world came to a complete and utter stop.
There used to be life beyond these walls.
But walls come down. And memories with them.
Only this time, those weren’t ordinary walls, but pillars of my heart.

Like a rake, I’m stuck trying to get your attention. But once I
finally have it within my grasp, I ditch it. Like the others before
it.
I heap a huge pile of mess.
I am surrounded by ghosts, not all of whom were dead.
I’m accosted. Not by bullies. Not bullets.
But by words I never said.
Past failures haunt me with guilt.
I’m too scared to think.
It’s hard to say now that I’m awake.

Difficult. You know it is.
But I still had to leave.
Because your happiness is all I seek.
And it doesn’t lie with me.

My name is Wofai.
And this is my story.
Feels like I’ve been hit with a sledgehammer twice, but I’ll survive.
Promises. Constant thoughts of helplessness.
I’m miserable. Without solace. Just pain.

I’m still Wofai.
I’m hurt. I’ll build new walls of defence. Stronger than the walls of Jericho.
Don’t talk to me about trust.
Work on it and show me its results.
I died. I don’t want to live, if it’s with you.

But I believe in magic.
Because only in it..
Will I live again.


Written by Wofai Omini Ifere, Creative Writer at Core Magazine


 

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Publisher

I am the Founder and Executive Editor of Core Magazine. I hold a Bachelors Degree in History and International Studies from Bowen University. I am the Author of "DARE TO RESEARCH". I have written and published over 16 Academic Research Articles. I believe in an ideal that all persons irrespective of their race, class or status can influence the society with creative writings and constructive thoughts to the point where they can succeed and develop their skills to seize rare opportunities.

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