KARMA: When The Pain Feels Too Much To Bear

The room was unusually cold; the sofas looked well taken care of as their arms rested on them like they were actually made for them. The A.C. continuously blew cool air into the room to help ease the tension which gathering momentum in the room. I continually stared around, observing my surroundings as words had evaded me in this time of need. I felt so stupid, exhausted, and emotionally stressed, 5years!! 5 solid years of my life gone down the drain in just a minute with just a composition of a simple sentence or should I say a wicked phrase, “Tola, I think we would do better without each other”……

I met Samson during my final year in school, he wasn’t the handsome type but he looked good, oh gush!! His dress sense was a killer and his voice!!! It was as sultry as a sweet lullaby. He was the kind of man my mother warned me against, she would say ” Tola, beware of men especially those with sweet tongues. They are just like snakes. They slip into your heart without your knowledge and within a matter of time, wreck the worst havoc”. I wish I had listened, and had taken heed, now I’m in shambles..

Samson had nothing. I got to find out while dating him that most of what he wears were that of his friend. He entirely lived off his friends, but I wasn’t bothered. I wasn’t into him for his money, and I was financially okay. He was just right in other ways. I took it upon me to cater for his needs. I literally paid for all his expenses, gave him my time and made sure I didn’t bug him. I just didn’t want him feeling choked up. Sometimes, when we went out and I would give him enough cash for him to pay, so that he felt like a man.

Things went rosy with us until we had our first problem, I got pregnant, as you would guess, and aborted it. It continued for a while until I ended up aborting 6times for Samson. I felt terrible, most times I would cry at night for the souls I had killed but always I’d assure myself that it was for a good cause and that it would stop, that the abortion at that time was the last and then I would go back again with the same story from Samson, I can’t take care of a child right now.

Eventually, as they say, “many days for the thief one day for the owner”, I took I’m once more and this time, I had to pick, the child or my life!. Mmmmm, it wasn’t easy, Samson and I constantly fought cause of this, I told him I couldn’t do it as I would die from it, he called me a coward and asked If I was the first person to have aborted 6 times, that a lot of hoes out there can’t even keep count of theirs. Our arguments got worse to the extent he started bringing in ladies into the flat I rented and paid for, he would go days without informing me and once he gets back I would be me to pulp in order to get money from me to finance his next trip.

Today, he is back from one of his numerous trips financed by my hard earned money, but he wasn’t alone. He came in with a slay queen, she was what I once was, full of life and looked like nothing bothered her. She sat across me as Samson came out of the room with his belongings and dealt me the Mayweather’s Knockout punch.

I am already seven months gone, my EDD is on the 8th of December. This wasn’t the life i thought I’d live, i remember how I cried every time he travelled and in fact avoided my friends. I didn’t want them to see the shallow life I was living.I feel like a piece of refuse now. I have been avoiding my parents. I don’t want them to see a disgrace. Where would I start from? Everything in me declares revenge; I want to see him in pains, let him feel all I felt, let him experience all I have gone through. No….. Karma will deal with him in the worst way imaginable…

Tola’s story is like that of many ladies out there, you give out your all and it gets thrown into the trash, at the end of the day you are left with nothing.. In other scenarios, we put efforts in a job, help friends or relatives or rather go out our ways to please or make someone happy but instead of gratitude, we are sabotaged, ridiculed or left downtrodden. We become confronted with a decision whether to take revenge or just plainly let karma play its game on them. Most often than not, of recent many have decided to take laws into their hands as we heard of case of acid splashing on exes’ faces as a form of vengeance while other cold heartedly result to murder, while a few allow the latter to take it cause..

I am of the school of thought that no matter how the pain or trails maybe, its better we allow karma take its full course. We should not bring more problems and compound our situations rather let our pains gradually heal with time and if we wait patiently and look more closely, we would notice an unusual turn of events in the life of those who wrong us. We see that above the pain we have grown, we have learnt how to be strong and above all we are conquerors.. It is easier said than done but with determination and courage even the greatest of stumbling blocks you can be overcome.


 

JENNIFER ALPHONSUS

Creative Writer at Core Magazine. I am passionate about life incessant trials and laughter. A mixture of which is there to give us strength and keep us going.

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Publisher

I am the Founder and Executive Editor of Core Magazine. I hold a Bachelors Degree in History and International Studies from Bowen University. I am the Author of "DARE TO RESEARCH". I have written and published over 16 Academic Research Articles. I believe in an ideal that all persons irrespective of their race, class or status can influence the society with creative writings and constructive thoughts to the point where they can succeed and develop their skills to seize rare opportunities.

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