The country child whose happiness you took away?
Remember the flowing gowns with ribbons tied into bows at the back?
Remember we cried together during the times I had it rough?
You were so reluctant to go
So I couldn’t grow quickly
I am not done yet
Don’t look away
Remember the failed relationships and how angry they made me?
Remember the reassuring smiles and words of people who only had their eyes on the goal and moved away immediately they got it or did not get it?
Remember friends to whom I didn’t mean a thing?
Remember the quiet sobs into the pillow when everyone was asleep?
Remember the mistakes, the regrets and the pain?
I am sure you do
You always remind me at times
Especially when I do not want to remember
Just before I send you on your way again for the final time
Remember the success and the adrenaline rush it caused?
The times I questioned God’s existence?
Remember we agreed that you could never show up again?
That you would not interfere in my happy life with Present?
Remember when we decided that our memories will forever be locked away?
So I could make new ones with Present?
I remember you told me that Present will soon become like you, Past.
I am done with memories of you
I am done with all the pain, sickness and anguish you often remind me of
I am done with the guilt from actions I can no longer undo
Although your name will never go away
You are right about Present
He would become like you, so that I can move on with Future, not the one who sings though, but he would be my new Present.
I don’t know much about the future, but I know he isn’t like you.
I know he is sure to come and he will be looking great.
So dear past,
I have made it clear that we are done and you are slowly fading away.
I need you to quicken your oblivion
New memories are being made
This will be my last note to you.
Adetutu is an Award Winning Writer and Poet. She studied English at Bowen University.
She is also a Contributor in Core Magazine.
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