You say yours is always there for you and sometimes you call him another name. He calls you other names too and makes you feel like them. If at all you complain, you claim he is like the Icarus to your sun, loving you too much and staying so close. Let me tell you about mine. Well, he is the best. The best at doing what is best for him regardless. Like Abacha, saving money meant for many for himself. The man has a say on how he spends his money, but his money is not his money once he brings on many people that did not ask to be brought. Mine carries the Bible, even reads it more than he communicates.
Everything is fine as long as we have no needs. No, as long as I don’t bother him which such needs. Mine is great with words, but not of encouragement. Telling him how you feel is, challenging his authority. Man of steel, unmoved by emotions or sea water secreted from the eyes.
Mine does his due once in a while, after that do not bother him. Superman to the world to save their days, joker to me to ruin mine.
“Take good care of yourself. Eat and pray”
Mine does more talking than acting. On some days when he remembers he gives me a thousand naira or more to manage until he comes back again. The thing is, he never comes or calls. He just assumes that the Other must be feeding me. He does not care if I am into crime or Christ, just don’t ask me for anything and when he does ask for what I want. Sometimes, I think it is a trap and I don’t ask. Sometimes, I purposely step on it and he does nothing. He makes me wonder if the one whom he represents is also like him. Maybe because they share the same name. On these days, I remind myself that He is not man. His hand is not short to come to my help or is he deaf to hear when I call on him. On these days, I remind myself that mine is just a caretaker. Nothing more.
Mine likes to celebrate success that he had no hand in. Well, not directly. I put all those words and jeers into action. On days like this after I cry and ask and nothing happens. I wonder if it is something I did or if it is something about the name they both share. Sometimes, he smiles and my heart melts until he makes my loved ones cry and I change my mind. I have become immune to his ways, but he doesn’t notice I have changed. I once came home with my hair unevenly cut and a part of it dyed black, he didn’t notice. I came home one time with purple in my hair, he didn’t care. It made me wonder if my body was brought home, he would care to ask if I am just asleep. He is not a life-coach, neither is he a coach. “Life teaches the lessons” He is just the guide who makes sure life deals us blows where they would hurt.
Mine is hard to comprehend. Is it something we did before we arrived? Or something he had to go through before he got everything he acquired. Mine was the subject of the first poem I ever wrote. The motivation for my sister to never rely on mine and the pain in my brother’s heart.
He makes it hard to call God father, because I call him father. If my father acts the way he does and he is said to be like God. Does it mean that God is sometimes unfair? Not sometimes, almost all the time. I feel like it sometimes, but the society has taught me that He knows best, so I have to wait for it. Even if it comes when I am planted in the ground and never grow.
So if you have a man who stays too close and loves you like Icarus loves the sun, and Charming loves Snow White. I guess you could call him daddy. Till then, I would just call my own father. I heard a man is only called daddy when he does what a father should do and the term father is insignificant because even a boy can be one
So now, that you know about the man called Father, I guess you understand why I say little or nothing about him. There is nothing to say. The few I got from me are enough for me and I got them because I called on the Lion of the Tribe of Judah and the author and finisher of my faith to come to my rescue. I guess that’s the only time He answers.
This father -daddy thing is overrated.
Adetutu is an Award Winning Writer and Poet. She studied English at Bowen University.
She is also a Contributor in Core Magazine.
97 total views, 0 views today