ADETUTU’S CORNER: CRIES BENEATH THE ALTAR

 

I heard you said to come down from my high horse and stay on bended knees for the one who bought me with the price.
The same one who gifted me this high horse in exchange for my youth and freedom.

 

You said to wear feminine dresses with shoulder pads and then blamed me for getting catcalled or raising my shoulders.
It’s not I who raises my shoulders, but it wouldn’t be bad if I did.

 

 

You said to watch the way you ran your home
A daughter should closely follow her mother.
But all I ever saw was how he ran you over with his feet.
You also said to always wear a smile when guests are around, but the only reason why you wore a smile was to hide your swollen cheeks.

 

 

You said to be submissive, even if he brings his friends over for me to entertain
“It will cost you nothing to serve some drinks and dance slowly to the music.
Just don’t disrespect your husband, you are his own”
You were peaceful like the dove, but he brought the storm to your life
The storm that left your white self blemished

 

 

“Pray before you pick the right one.”
If this is right one you prayed for, how about the wrong one who treats me right?
I would pick the wrong one if he exerts his energy in the gym rather than on me.
“Pray you don’t end up with one like your father, but know most men are the same. Some are just better than the other”
I heard he is the type they call anipupogbakanlowoeni
With multiple folds in his barn, he comes always for your own one sheep.
You always give him, because that’s what good wives do
Who could blame you?

 

 

I fear for myself because I bit your intestines and regurgitated it every time.
I knew this because I rechristened myself endurance
Too much of everything they say is bad, but I endured too much.
Monotony gets one bored and I have reached my limit
I would like to let you know that I have spat out your intestines
I have built myself a wall and it’s bigger and better than the wall of China

 

 

“Thank God you have a good job”
You would have been waiting for allowance just like I do.
Lay out your plans and wait for it to be accepted like a proposal
Sometimes you live on a budget so I can be lavish
I know better and I work harder.
I don’t want to be like you.
I want to be better and stronger.

 

 

A woman’s place is the kitchen
Cooking away her years
And by her husband’s side when he needs something to brag about
“My wife is obedient and loyal” just like the dog (this part he doesn’t say, but we know he is thinking it)

 

 

I heard last week he slapped your head against the wall like he always did, but you didn’t wake up this time to wash his clothes and lay his bed for the mistress.
Should I still be like you?
Keeping quiet and being a good woman according to the standard that the society has laid for us?
Should I dogmatically follow the Bible and remain in a marriage that’s only going to lead me to an early grave?
Should I be like you, choosing a man just because he knows a few Bible lines and knows how to pronounce Jesus?

 

 

I heard all what you said and the one I heard the loudest were the ones you didn’t say
“Run away from this plight”
“Help me”
And of all the things you said I wish you projected your voice not the society
I think like Nawal’s Amna you probably believe
All “praise be to Him for He alone is to be praised for any harm which might befall us”
We “thank Him and praise Him for all things”, but there are times we need to say “No” because we know what’s good for us.
We take the blows and the compliments.
Now, it’s not the society that has been planted in the soil never to grow.
So tell me, do you want me to be like you still?
Maybe I would also join you and you could plait my hair like you used to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

AUTHOR

ADETUTU ADEDOYIN

Adetutu is an Award Winning Writer and Poet. She studied English at Bowen University. 

She is also a Contributor in Core Magazine.

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Publisher

I am the Founder and Executive Editor of Core Magazine. I hold a Bachelors Degree in History and International Studies from Bowen University. I am the Author of "DARE TO RESEARCH". I have written and published over 16 Academic Research Articles. I believe in an ideal that all persons irrespective of their race, class or status can influence the society with creative writings and constructive thoughts to the point where they can succeed and develop their skills to seize rare opportunities.

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